Bad news from my orthopedic surgeon, guys. He says I have FOMO. It stands for Fear of Missing Out. My orthopedic surgeon has a lot of opinions about my social life. And my left knee. But who the hell cares about being able to walk when everyone is hanging out without you?
7 Things That Happen When All Your Friends Are At The Beach (And Your Carrie Bradshaw Ass Is Still In The City)
2:30 on the Friday of a 3-day weekend rolls around and you’re all kinds of pumped because your office is closing at 3 and you just figured out how to fix the formula in an Excel spreadsheet. Both are equally exciting to you. All of the sudden, your Facebook feed fills up with pictures of your friends in traffic, wearing jaunty hats, laughing. It’s happened. These bitches took the day off and now…
Maybe these are just #FBF posts. They’re not really at the beach.
You rush outside. Surely they haven’t all deserted you.
And by “Acceptance” I mean, “Sitting quietly and flooding the room with negativity.”
You pick up that copy of Gone Girl, you’ve been meaning to finish. I wonder if Ben Affleck really gone’d that girl, you muse, as you peel back the pages–
LOLOL, just kidding. I mean Reading Everyone for Filth.
Your friends start uploading pictures of themselves on the beach…
“A photo of everyone jumping on the beach…”
That feels better, right?
5. Reaching Out
7. Just Going to the Fucking Beach
BONUS: 3 Things That Happen When You Actually Go To The Beach
I used to blog at ijusthaveafewnotes.com so if you want to read more, try there!